Clash 4 Gold - Ireland's Hopes

With the opening ceremony just hours away, it’s only right that we take a quick look at the hopes of the Irish athletes competing in London. Don’t worry though – not all of them. Frankly, the majority are only slightly more likely to be victorious in their respective events than I am.

In fairness, much as it is kinda my job to be a sarky, dismissive snob towards anyone other than the very best, it is an achievement qualifying for the Games in the first place. Competing in an Olympics puts one amongst the elite, and is an experience that very few people on the planet will ever get to enjoy. So to the likes of Sycerika McMahon, Martyn Irvine, Scott Evans and Paul Hession, genuine congratulations are due. You have done yourselves, your families and your country proud. Just don’t expect me to waste bandwidth on you.

No, if we’re gonna preview this, we’re gonna preview it right, and that means focusing on the best chances for medals that we have. And, in a nation that tried to distance ourselves from big fat gypsy weddings, it is ironic that our perennial strengths are fightin’ and horses. Essentially, our sporting prowess seems to come down to a cross between The Hardy Bucks and The Rubberbandits.

We send two of the most experienced competitors in Irish sport, Cian O’Connor and Billy Twomey (left), but underneath them will be, respectively, a 12 year old and a 15 year old. That sounds very cruel until you realise that they’re horses. Which might still be a little cruel, I don’t know. I only really take complaints seriously when they’re in writing, and as yet the horses haven’t said a word.

Either way, I guess both Blue Loyd and Tinka's Serenade (those are the horses, not some horrific nicknames for our riders) have a chance at success, as long as the horses aren’t on drugs like the last two times, and they feel like it. Showjumping is one of those events that can throw up enormous surprises; this is mainly down to the amount of trust placed in a lump of unintelligent mass that will someday become a Frenchman’s dinner. Both Twomey and O’Connor have shone on the international stage before - there’s a chance they can do it again.

And so, to the boxing. Last time, our boys did us proud, medals for Kenny Egan, Paddy Barnes and the late Darren Sutherland. This time round, Barnes returns along with fellow two-time Olympian John Joe Nevin, joined by middleweight Darren O’Neill, Belfast’s 20 year old flyweight Michael Conlon and Wexford born Garda Adam Nolan, who will fight at lightweight. There’s some bird going too apparently, presumably there to wash the kit.

Frankly, just about every single one of the guys has a shot at a medal. Barnes has proven himself on the world stage before and Nevin has grown massively since his Beijing appearance as an 18 year old. O’Neill has been a revelation since his move from light-heavy while Nolan has the advantage of both a tricky unorthodox style and an element of surprise, going into the tournament a relative unknown away from these shores. Only Conlan would appear to be something of a long shot, but he is not short of confidence, and his switch-hitting style could see him cause problems should he get going strongly in the opening few fights.

Outside the ring, our hopes are limited. Derval O’Rourke, the darling of Irish track and field, would consider a place in another major final a success, and even that doesn’t look all that likely. Still, she has the temperament for occasions like these, and has an outside shot; it would be a fine achievement were she to raise her game and take her place in the final 8. Grainne Murphy, similarly, would do well to find a position amongst the finalists; once again, it would be a bit of a surprise were she to manage it.

Of the two remaining hopes (in my not-so-humble opinion), one combines running and swimming, and then throws in a bit of cycling for good measure. What a fucking show off. Aileen Morrison has been putting in solid performance in the triathlon for the past 18 months, and has been deservedly ranked in and around the top 10 in the world throughout that period. The Derry woman will have plenty of competition, but is not the sort to believe taking part is a success in itself. A number of recent podium finishes in tour events has certainly put her in a position to be considered capable of springing a shock.

Finally, the hopes of the Rebel County will rest on the slight and bony shoulders of Rob Heffernan (left). As experienced as they come, the 34 year old has finished in the top 10 of major championships before, in an event where age really isn’t too much of a concern. As unpredictable as a 50k walk can be (and, to the uninitiated, it actually really is a crapshoot sometimes), he could be a serious challenger for a podium place.

Otherwise, it’s participation medals and a big bag of free kit. Oh, and remember that chick travelling with the boxing team? Turns out she’s pretty handy. But more on that later…