Morning folks! Coffee brewed, bagels toasted, and day 3 of the London Games is up and running. Below will be the inane ramblings of a man with three screens, two remote controls and one limited attention span. Fun times!!
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19:13: So, its gold for China, silver for Japan, and a bronze for Team GB. It's a pity there was such a strange ending, as even a bronze medal is truly a remarkable achievement for the Brits, an incredible effort that shouldn't be overshadowed by the unfortunate conclusion. And now, folks, I am actually done.
19:12: The news is greeted by polite applause and a jovial rendition of the Japanese national anthem. Actually I'm lying. They are booing to the high heavens - even Prince Harry is biting his fist to distract himself from lobbing digs at the judges below.
19:11: The Japanese have gone up into silver. It has not been announced in the arena yet - this could get ugly, folks!!
19:08: The appeal is not over what happened, so to speak, but rather the scoring of the dismount. The scores are so close - second and fourth are separated by less than half a point. The screen in the arena is about to confirm the findings...
19:03: I suppose I have to come back here after the ending to the gymnastics that we just saw. In the final rotation, Japan dropped from second to fourth, and Britain got a silver. Japan have launched a protest/inquiry, and the relevant authorities are gathered around screens to evaluate the final dismount. Serious drama.
18:10: Mark Kyle has finished, and with that, so have I. He has somehow put Ireland in seventh place - I don't really understand. The swimming starts in a little over an hour, but the Irish are done for the day. It was, as usual, a mixed bag, but Annalise Murphy has certainly put a positive twist on proceedings. I'll be back in an hour or two to discuss the betting controversy, enjoy this gymnastics in the meantime.
18:04: Another solid performance from a Brit off camera, as Mark Kyle on the other telly gallops onwards. Even if I don't have the greatest love for the horsey business, having two people fall and therefore suffer elimination, we kinda need to maintain some sort of respectability here.
17:56: Kyle is still on his horse, we'll keep you informed. Meanwhile, the Brits hit the parallel bars, and they've continued their impressive performance. A slight shuffle on landing, but Max Whitlock did well and these boys are surprising a few people, methinks.
17:54: Mark Kyle is out on his horse, and his horse is named Coolio. So I'm actually right behind him.
17:50: Denis Ablyazin with a quality vault for the Russians - the vault is typically the highest scoring apparatus so they'll be looking for a big return here.
17:46: After 3 rotations, the Chinese lead from Japan, with the Britlanders in an unlikely third place. Quite a performance from the home team, but the Chinese still seem to be in control. Gymnastics, weightlifting, diving, seems as though everywhere you look its Chinese dominance.
17:41: Just a heads up that this liveblog will be ending fairly shortly. Tonight we'll look at that betting probe into O'Leary, and of course we'll have a complete run-down of Ireland's day. And a pretty girl to finish the night, obviously. And let me tell you, we have a cracker this evening.
17:38: Peter O'Leary and David Burrows finish fifth in the 4th race in their Star class - that leaves them fourth overall. Who would have put money on that, eh? Probably Peter O'Leary.
17:30: The German Philipp Boy has been brandished "a twat, a c*nt and a ponce" here, before taking off on the vault. He lands like a twat, a c*nt or a ponce would too, staggering back, but his hair stays perfectly intact, perhaps explaining why his score remained impressive. Time for the Chinese on the parallel bars, this should be awesome.
17:26: Cigarettes have been dropped to HQ courtesy of Padie O Mahony. Many thanks. Over at the O2, Kristian Thomas nails a vault for Britain and the home crowd may well have something to cheer about in this men's team final.
17:18: Li Xueying attempts a record at the end of the lifting - a failure is unimportant, as the gold is secure. Sirikaew is second, Yuliya Kalina third. For the record, Jenny finished 9th, Zoe Smith 12th.
17:16: A quick look at Hannah Craig's second run here, 2 penalty points and she's delighted. It did indeed prove to be enough.
17:04: The front story of The Guardian's website right now? Speculation about Ye Shiwen's 400IM win. As explained here, I flatly refuse to get involved, but there is no doubt that the last leg was worthy of conversation - just a pity its all so damn negative
17:00: Back to the weightlifting for a moment, and the real business is kicking off. On TV two, meanwhile, I wait patiently for the footage of Camilla Speirs taking a tumble. In a way, I don't know exactly why I've taken such an extraordinary dislike to the 3-day-eventers. Note to the organisers: if you don't start with dressage, I would probably be a little nicer. But no, you made the horses dance and I'm now having none of it.
16:55: Hannah Craig's progress is confirmed, she will be in the semi-finals of the women's slalom. Well done her.
16:52: Camilla Speirs, the horsiest named horser in the horsey...well, anyway, she fell off. What a tit. She is eliminated.
16:47: On other sources, I'm getting all sorts of suggestions for things to cover in the coming days. If you want to make suggestions and don't happen to be a facebook friend, hit the comments and let me know.
16:44: I love the gymnastics, but I don't like the team event all that much. Just too much going on to build any sort of real tension or something. For someone with ADHD, however, it's an absolute dream. Shit happening everywhere, dudes flying through the air, it's like an acrobatic orgy.
16:40: I can never watch the rings without thinking of this. Hat-tip to Eoin Myers for the inspiration
16:37: The commentators on the gymnastics are so harsh. I mean, they have to be I suppose, but its cruel. The lads do a triple somersault, two twists and some bitch says "oh, his toes were pointed in the wrong direction". Fuck you. Seriously. Here goes Louis Smith on the horse - this dude's awesome.
16:33: Weightlifting is boring the arse off me, so we're off to the gymnastics and the men's team final. We'll check in with the Barbell Babes later...
16:28: Colombia's Lena Rivas just got timed out. Which is just lazy, if you ask me. She has a minute left for her last attempt at 120kg, so if she screws this up she's an imbecile. She lifted in time, didn't lift the weight, and she's crying now. What a Jessie.
16:23: The A Group for the 58kg women's weightlifting is off. That, of course, is the same category we watched earlier with Jenny and Zoe Smith, and we join it in the clean and jerk.
16:18: Match point for the Brazilians - and that's it! Brazil continue unbeaten, without dropping a set so far.
16:15: Germans mounting a little bit of a comeback here, but Brazil still look comfortable at 16-12.
16:12: Discussions during the break in play of the volleyball centre around the entertainment. A bit of banter is all well and good, but Benny Hill every ten minutes is surely a bit of a piss-take, no? Anyway, Brazil are in a handy 14-8 lead here.
16:08: Hannah Craig, by the way, lies 14th after the first run in the canoeing. Basically, she's likely to need an improvement to guarantee a spot to progress as one of the top 15.
16:05: I enjoy how Brazil's women just have regular names, Juliana and Larissa. They could be the girls next door, like - though I'd be some pervert if my neighbours looked like that.
16:03: Beach volleyball here now, and its Brazilians all round. Well, Brazilians on one side and Germans on the other, but you know what I mean. Brazil lead 1 set to nil, and 5-1 in the second.
15:59: Chinese dominance in the diving continues then, they take a comfortable gold. My favourites, the Mexican team, get silver. Yanks take the bronze. I'm switching sports.
15:57: That's not huge enough. The loneliest place in the world, as Eamonn Coughlan would say - 4th place.
15:56: Brits with their last dive - they need something huge.
15:50: The Chinese score 99.3. That was the frequency of a radio station I used to listen to. Either way, that should certainly be gold sewn up - following in the footsteps of their female counterparts from yesterday.
15:49: I rewound one telly to look at the Ukranian coaches - hot. I think.
15:48: The Brits don't quite pull off the forward 4.5. Synchro was strong, but its only good enough for a fourth place - 6 points out of the medals. The Ukranians are OK - their female coaching team is the blondest I have ever seen. So blonde as to put a smokescreen of sorts to stop me from really evaluating if they're hot or not.
15:43: The Mexicans looked like they were considering whether to bother or not. Both looked unsure of it, and then they just nailed it. Their coach literally fell off his seat. They score 92.7. They look entirely nonplussed
15:40: Scott Evans' Olympic journey is over - a straight sets victory for Lin Dan. Didn't really expect anything else, to be fair. So yeah, all attention on the diving now.
15:37: Daley and Waterfield with a reverse 3.5 somersault, and its rubbish. I think they were both off - one over-rotated, one under. Synchro is decent enough, but that is a blow. 6s, 7s and 8s, and that has sucked the life out of the crowd
15:34: The Mexicans are absolute banter here. Doing a dive that the commentators think is impossible, but they go pretty darn close. They have clearly left all of their fucks back in Guadelejara, and have none left to give this afternoon.
15:33: Lin Dan leads Scott Evans 13-6. Probably not long left in this one.
15:32: Chinese back on the platform, and their reverse three and a half is close to perfect. I think. Not that I'm the greatest expert, but that's a serious marker. 93.06 is a heck of a score
15:27: The GBers just nailed that dive, 9s and 9.5s again. They are right at the top, and this one is shaping up to be an absolute cracker.
15:26: First forward 4 and a half of the day for Mexico, and they get slated. Harsh, and most teams will be using it at some point. Daley and Waterfield up again - have to wonder if, in a sport where its all down to judging, the crowd will have an impact here. It is at fever pitch in the Aquatics Centre right now.
15:23: 9s and 9.5s for the Chinese, as the difficulty steps up a little. Success for China on the badminton court too - Scott Evans drops the first set to Lin Dan, 21-10.
15:19: Almost all 9.5s for the Britlanders in their second round. They take a .6 point lead over China - 112.80 to 112.20 - but as mentioned earlier, this one is really only getting started in a few minutes. If you haven't watched synchro diving before, get on it. There's a guide here and all.
15:16: I need a third telly. Apparently Annalise Murphy has won her second race in the Laser Radial. As with the boys - who just went out themselves - its 10 races, then a medal race. Plenty left to run, then, but we could be looking at a serious contender.
15:14: Scott Evans definitely isn't disgracing himself quite yet, though he is 10-4 behind in the Protestant Shuttlecock Exchange. Part of the problem is sure to be his shirt, which is roughly the same shade of liver bile.
15:10: The Brits pick up 9s and 9.5s, but this first round is fairly unremarkable - as is the next. The real business comes from the third round on, when Cao and Zhang of China will probably dominate.
15:09: I can't really decide whether I like badminton or not. Its a strange one to get used to, a bit like Wayne Rooney - both very fast and very slow... Tom Daley and Pete Waterfield are up in the diving, and the crowd loses their shit.
15:07: The two-telly system is coming into its own, as the synchronized diving is underway in the Aquatics Centre. I bloody love the diving, and I'm not alone - apparently there were local pubs holding analysis sessions after the women had their go yesterday.
15:04: So, Dan is very definitely the favourite here. There's a few lads singing "You'll Never Beat The Irish" in the crowd though, so that's sure to make a difference.
15:01: Hup, Scott Evans emerges in the badminton arena to take on the clumsily nicknamed SuperDan. The world number one, the reigning Olympic champion, and perhaps the greatest player of all time, he's a serious operator. And probably not a Catholic either, Bill. Don't worry, I have your back!!
14:59: BBC have switched commentators while I was gone. And while speaking about broadcasters, there is apparently plenty of chat today over Billo on RTE asking if badminton was a Protestant sport last night. I can see why people are unhappy, what a stupid question to ask! OF COURSE IT IS, BILL!!
14:48: Back to the boxing, where Nyambayar of Mongolia has brought the flyweight action to a close for now. On to the light-heavy fighters - a division dear to Irish hearts of course, after Kenny Egan's silver last time out.
14:41: Hannah Craig's first run in her canoe sees 8 penalty seconds which leaves her about 8 seconds off the pace. She's now in 2nd, needs to be in the top 15 and has another run later, so she's still got plenty of hope.
14:34: Cracking last round. I'd give it to Njangiru, but not by the three points he needs. Then again, I'm not second guessing the judges - not after the past 20 minutes of scoring that I've seen... And it goes Abdeelal's way, a level last round. Bizarre...
14:28: Njangiru is threading a few through here, mixing in a little rough stuff too. Abdeelal looks tired, so that's probably a clever tactic. The judges see it very differently though, and the Egyptian has a three point lead!
14:26: The women's canoeing has just begun, where Hannah Craig will be off seventh.
14:25: The Kenyan is in a startling pair of shoes, a radioactive shade of yellowy-green which makes him look like he expected the fight to be in the dark. He's been the aggressor so far, but he's getting countered too - first session split 6 apiece.
14:21: Egypt's Hesham Abdeelal v Benson Njangiru of Kenya now. Spell check is having a fucking conniption. Woman ref as well. Presumably she will immediately tell them to stop fighting. "STOP FIGHTING! JUST GROW UP!!"
14:18: Both boxers wag their fingers, as though it makes a difference. Oh wow. 14-12 Cintron, and the boos from the crowd tell the story. That was a surprising decision, for sure. Maybe they just liked the hair. Or the finger wagging...
14:15: Cintron's headguard goes flying, and we're reunited with the mullet once again. Oteng probably has this, though it'll be a tight one.
14:11: The flyweight division is, of course, where our own Michael Conlon will be in action, so we can call this research. Botswana have their only competitor in the boxing here, and Oteng Oteng looks to be handy enough. He looked to be having the better of things, but the judges disagree: an even 9-9 going into the final stanza.
14:08: Aoife Clark finishes in the cross-country horsing. She misses out on the time, but she didn't fall, which is a success in itself I guess. More importantly, the bloke on telly analysing it keeps looking straight down the camera, which is really unnerving.
14:02: Jenny wins this group of the weighlifting, Smith takes second. We switch to the boxing, just in time to see a truly horrific mullet from Puerto Rico. Flyweight action from the other side of the ExCel.
13:57: Farmers Sean and Eoin Myers - clearly taking it easy for the day - have been in touch, suggesting uses that Zoe Smith could have down the country, "pulling calves or holding bullocks in a crush". Well, if the weightlifting doesn't work out in the long run, I suppose!
13:54: You know, there was a bit of a kerfuffle recently with reports of Toddlers & Tiaras style child pageants coming to Ireland. But frankly, this Olympics seems almost as bad. Everywhere I look, there's some child prodigy being mentored by a Bulgarian, slapping them across the face and telling them to shape up.
13:47: British record for Smith, 121kg in the clean and jerk gives her 211kg in total. Granted, our pal Jenny is still to come, but a British record for the 18 year old delights the crowd.
13:40: Kicking off his campaign this afternoon is Scott Evans, our sole male badminton player. He, however, is in a group with only one other opponent - don't ask - and so has to beat Lin Dan. Who most people consider the greatest player of all time. Can Scott's mum make sure she has the makings of a sandwich in the fridge? Your son shall be home shortly.
13:32: Peter O'Leary - who will be out with David Burrows again at about 2pm - has been confirmed as the athlete in the centre of the betting controversy currently under investigation. Early days yet, and I'll have a full take on it later. For more on the case, clickety click here
13:26: In far happier news, Annalise Murphy just won the opening race in her Laser Radial class. Go on my dear!
13:25: Moniqui bounced back and got the 105kg at the third attempt. I still don't have any more cream cheese. So fuck that, guess it's just not my day...
13:20: The Canadian in the weightlifting, Annie Moniqui, just failed at 105kg. I just ran out of cream cheese. Christ, it's been a tough minute or two for both of us really.
13:13: The action in the ExCel Arena moves from the snatch to the clean and jerk. The action at The 'Lympics Log HQ moves briefly to the kitchen, as I toast a bagel. Just thought y'all would like to know...
13:08: Ouch, I hadn't seen that the field hockey arena is blue. I fucking hate it. I can just about handle Boise State doing it, but no more, please.
13:06: It's Maria Alexandra Escobar Guerrero. So, Jenny.
13:03: A lifter from Ecuador just lifted 103kg. She has a very long name that they haven't kept on screen for long enough though, so lets just call her Jenny...
12:56: Michael Ryan is no longer on his horse. Two fences from home, his trusty steed trips over a novelty house, and Ryan flies onto his face. Any chance of me taking this shit seriously has well and truly gone now...
12:51: Smith actually goes for 93kg, and fails at first attempt. Goes again, and very nearly runs off the stage dropping the weight right by the refs. Would've been gas, in fairness. On my other telly - yes, I've actually got two running side-by-side - Michael Ryan is out on his horse.
12:47: The use of the comments section yesterday was, well, dire. Perhaps you feel like getting involved today? You know where to go. Smith lifts 90kg at her first attempt - back to try 92kg in a minute.
12:39: We're going with the women's weightlifting for the minute - the 58kg group B in action. This, for the uninformed, is essentially the lower tier of competitors - the medals will be decided by the A group later on. This group contains Zoe Smith, the British competitor who is actually kinda sneaky hot in a muscular, emasculating sort of way. Insert snatch jokes here...
12:29: The Cross-County section of the Three Day Eventing runs today, with the 5 Irish 'athletes' looking to improve upon their rather unimpressive dressage performances. Other Irish competitors this afternoon include sailors Ryan Seaton and Matt McGovern in the 49er class, while James Espey and Annalise Murphy compete solo in their respective laser classes.
12:23: The day has already seen an Irish competitor in action, Sycerika McMahon setting a new personal best in the 200 IM heats. I missed it because this weekend marked perhaps a new personal worst when it come to my sleeping patterns. Either way, her new mark wasn't enough to see her through, but after yesterday's disappointment is a great improvement.
12:14: My day starts with a bit of volleyball highlights. Turns out Neslihan Darnel is extremely good! Not good enough though, as Turkey fall to China
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